I suppose it is something of a miracle that we have survived to be able to keep logs. Nonetheless, we managed to escape the core with our lives.
Following the senator’s assassination, I was separated from the crew. During my attempted escape, I was picked up by policemen, who escorted me to the local jailhouse. This being a core world, resisting seemed unwise, and these men were clearly looking for me. I assumed that I would be interrogated by Alliance Intelligence. It was to my detriment that I had not yet realized the depth of the trouble that I was in.
It was only through the intervention of Colonel Windsor that I was rescued. She revealed to me the truth. The Alliance has decided to disavow all knowledge of me, despite that I had correctly followed all operating procedures. While this episode is a serious mark against me, it seems clear that I’ve been chosen to serve as a scapegoat. Demotion, even court-martial would have been in accordance with regulations. Instead, I suspect that if I’m ever caught, my fate will be an unmarked grave.
Perhaps it is ironic that the Alliance is attempting to kill one of the few surviving daughters of Shadow. Or perhaps not.
After parting ways with Colonel Windsor, I was able to establish contact with the crew. We were able to obtain the necessary codes and clearances to transfer the Shadow. While doing this, we spent a number of days at a brothel. Following standard procedures, I changed my appearance, so that I now believe I am unrecognisable to most casual acquaintances, the only kind I have left. I also indulged in the female prostitutes there. I suppose that no longer being an Alliance officer, I am no longer required to suppress such desires.
We were later forced to flee the brothel, but we were able to sneak into the holding area, recover the ship and escape without being caught into any sort of confrontation, the only good news from this escapade.
My responsibility to keep my crew safe is my current, and only, motivation. After all, they do not know the truth of the roles they were hired into. I fear I have endangered their lives without their knowledge. Now I must keep them safe from both my former masters, and from Niska. Furthermore, without Alliance support, and having spent most of my funds on-world, I now find myself compelled to seek whatever work we are offered. At least the crew has not yet asked many questions about my now-former role, though I fear that can only be coming.
And myself? I suppose it says something that it was only when I was cut loose, and not when my home, my family, and everything I loved was destroyed, that I finally decided to turn against the Alliance. For the moment, I intend to adopt a new identity, a process already begun with my makeover, and lay as low as possible for as long as possible. The verse is too small to avoid my fate forever, though.
Finally, I have relieved crewman Winters of his log-keeping duty. I feel this is better for his long-term mental health.